The fastest way to eliminate possible explanations is to reach an obvious conclusion. Clinicians in the behavioral health field are taught to stay curious. If a likely cause presents itself, therapists hold it as a diagnostic ‘maybe’ until further evidence either cancels or corroborates the possibility. The urge is to rush to judgement when things don’t make sense. An answer – any answer – closes the uncomfortable gap of not knowing. Wisdom lies in enduring the discomfort and asking the question, “What would need to be true to make this data make sense?” Now let’s apply this to your team.

Leaders are faced with both choices and decisions when building, strengthening, or repairing a workplace culture. Despite their interchangeability in casual conversation, choosing and deciding are not the same. Choice is a selection while deciding is an act of elimination. We choose a culture that embraces certain principles. Deciding, on the other hand, resolves conflict between options. The original Latin word for ‘decide’ is decidere, which means ‘to cut off.’ When we decide, we are slicing off less desirable alternatives. We are establishing a code of conduct by letting employees know what behaviors are not tolerated.

Growing up, most of us are taught how to succeed as individuals. The formula is simple: set goals, take initiative, work hard, and persevere. Succeeding on teams uses different competencies and they don’t always come naturally. The same skill set that gained you acceptance into an elite college probably doesn’t make you the best teammate. Teams are messy and complicated. Conflict is unavoidable and it only takes one disengaged teammate to ruin a culture. So how do we learn the skills and competencies to function in team settings? Clue #1: It’s not by taking personality tests and discovering what makes other people tick.

Deep below the iceberg of organizational culture lies the source of workplace politics. Hidden unless you look, it lurks without explanation and influences the day-to-day interactions between teammates. While unique to each team, its roots are common to the industry you have selected for your career path. Because our work is an expression of our history, the politics of the workplace are reflections of the reasons we choose that expression of our character. Allowing for mild stereotyping, consider these three questions:

The most lasting change unfolds gradually, under the surface and invisible to onlookers. Unlike the shock of an abrupt transition, evolution quietly advances despite our inability to track its progress. Much like the roots of an old-growth tree, tendrils slowly reach out to connect with a powerful network of fuel and support. Above the ground, teams form.

Do you prefer a cruise ship to a family vacation? Both options take you to beautiful places. The difference lies in the mode of transportation, the population of passengers, and the choice of who steers. Some trips begin with a collection of strangers while others carefully select the participants. A common destination might be enough to create a connection, but coalescing a team requires more than agreeing on the final port. The quality of the journey begins way before the ending.

There’s a way of viewing the many partnerships that make up a team while looking at the whole team as a unit. The fingerprint-level uniqueness of the group is stamped by the distinct individual connections between teammates. As each internal partnership morphs, the team evolves either toward or away from wellness. Here’s how to take a snapshot of today’s state of affairs.

Whether it is the 19 year-olds I teach at Elmhurst University or the 40-somethings I coach through their career transitions, the trajectory of careers is driven by connections. You select an academic major when you are barely an adult. You accept a first job in your early 20’s with none of the maturity needed to know whether it fits your strengths, interests, values, and personality. Good luck with that. Let’s invite some teammates into the equation and convert chance into a strategy.

Difference of opinion is usually the fodder for division. Us and them factions split easily. Yet, both extremes are needed to understand the whole picture. Darkness makes us appreciate light. Active phases need dormant periods for refueling. Conservative views provide a counterbalance for liberal perspectives. Embracing opposites as necessary components of the whole is far more valuable than outright rejection. Each side relies upon the other. Consider the advantage that welcoming dichotomy brings to teams.

You probably shouldn’t ask the question unless you are willing to hear the answer. More importantly, you may not want to invite the conversation unless you plan to do something with the information. Feedback is a double-edged sword. The choice to strengthen a weakness almost always makes sense until you acknowledge how much work is required. When that realization sets in, many teams opt to perpetuate ‘normal’ rather than taking on the labor of growth.

Everyone has advice and guidance these days. The paths to wellness, individually or as a team, are many. Like most fads, there’s always something new that catches the attention of social media and gets talked about among friends. While all of that is unfolding, there remain three simple tools that have stood the test of time. One at the micro level, one at the mezzo level, and one at the macro level.

I greeted a friend recently with the question “How are you?” A freight train happened to be passing by at the moment I asked so she misheard the words as “Why are you?” Her answer surprised me. In less than 30 seconds, she served up a theme-based version of her life story. It was a veritable purpose statement. It got me thinking about how many of us are seeking direction when the destination has already been well established. Perhaps it’s just the path that hasn’t yet been chosen.