Attachment and Loss
Not every connection is the same. An allegiance to a sports team is different than a vow to a marriage. The greater the attachment, the greater the loss. Your favorite sports team losing a game is not as painful as your spouse announcing their departure from the relationship. Whatever the depth of the alliance, attachment is always measured against the prospect of loss.
Dependence and Independence
The degree to which we rely on others determines the amount of freedom we enjoy. No one dances freely on a rickety platform. When the foundation of mission and values is clear, teammates are set loose to explore, experiment, discover, and invent. When the left hand of the piano takes care of the rhythm and bass structure, the right hand is free to create melody.
Commitment and Risk
Trust demands safety. If your wild idea is slapped down, the chance that you’ll serve up something unconventional in the future decreases. Conversely, teams that build diversity of thought into their norms communicate permission for innovation. The commitment to mutual respect unleashes limitless possibilities when teams address new problems with unique solutions.
Togetherness and Distance
Healthy relationships are capable of feeling closeness while apart and distance while together. We need both. The music of teams requires both dissonance and harmony. Imagine a telescopic pole connecting you with everyone on your team where each partnership is empowered to decide how close or far they are from each teammate. Not everyone would be in synchrony. Some teammates might be seeking closeness while their partners prefer more space. Proximity is constantly being measured and remeasured in relationships.
Dichotomies are everywhere. Black and white. Right and wrong. All and none. Always and never. On and off. Good and bad. Active and passive. Left and right. Whichever way you choose to define the opposites, they need each other to survive. Pendulums swing wide in both directions in order to sustain momentum.