Remaining graceful during transitions is difficult for most of us. Everyone copes with change at a different pace. There are those who need to devote all of their energy to trumpeting the enormity of their pain. Still others are ready to get on with whatever the next stage brings and have little need to process feelings. Of course, most people fall between these extremes.
Those standing at the two extremes often see each other through negative mindsets. To the complaining teammate, the ‘get-on-with-it’ colleague doesn’t get it. To the get-on-with-it teammate, the complainer is being a baby. All the while, those other teammates in between the extremes will inevitably end up gravitating toward one side or the other. “Slow down!” “Speed up!” “Wait for me!” “You’re holding up the works!”
Setting aside childhood trauma history and personality differences, let’s review some universal coping maxims.
- Acknowledge the impact of the change as real. Look it in the eye and brace yourself for the normal difficulties that come with this stage of a team’s growth.
- Take confidence in the eventual reality that you’ll figure out the future even though it isn’t clear now.
- Decide how much of your energy is best devoted to complaining versus problem solving.
- Pay attention to the moments when you feel stuck, and evaluate whether to act or defer action.
- Once you feel sufficiently ‘heard,’ employ a strategic plan to move yourself and your team from the current state to the desired state.
Most importantly, remain graceful. The best decisions are made when calm. Whatever you need to do – talk to your coach/therapist, go for a run, pray – get yourself back in balance and trust your talent to navigate the path in concert with your team.
