Fear, favoritism, and factioning all work to keep bullies in power. No teammate wants to feel unsafe, under-resourced, or left out. Workplaces that normalize the tolerance of microaggressions delivered by a minority of bullies create exactly these scenarios. And, before you know it, the tail begins wagging the dog.
Usually, there is a ringleader or two who use one of the f-words – favoritism – to turn hand-selected minions into marionette puppets. The ringleader gives special dispensation to those willing to cash in their spines to become puppets. In exchange for privilege, the minions end up doing most of the bully’s dirty deeds by leveraging the other two f-words – fear and factioning – to make teammates unwilling to challenge the status quo.
Putting up with a bully culture is just easier than the cost of challenging it. It’s the devil you know. Why risk encountering the devil you don’t know?
Strong and healthy workplace cultures must hold bullies and their minions accountable. A value system designed to encourage kindness, compassion, and collaboration is more than a pretty poster on the wall in the colors of the team’s logo. It is a code of conduct that gets enforced in two ways:
- Acknowledging and celebrating examples of culture-aligned behavior.
- Accountability and consequences when words or behavior hurt others and weaken the culture.
Over time, the cumulative experience of both acknowledgement and accountability changes what the team sees as normal. Bullies are no longer welcome. Interestingly, this transition rarely becomes an HR task since those who no longer fit the culture would rather relocate to a system that gives them power than look at their own weaknesses and get some coaching.
HR’s role is to sponsor the culture and empower alignment. Leadership’s job is to keep an eye on the wellness of the system and intervene when celebration or consequences are needed. Employees’ roles are to live the values to the best of their ability and take ownership if human nature makes a relationship go sideways.
Let’s choose new f-words: friendly, fair, and fun!
