For the past few years, our consulting team has been employing music composition as a tool for personal, family, group, and organizational wellness support. It works for a simple reason. The trajectory of a song’s development parallels the path of a team’s growth. So, whether it’s a coaching client expressing their career challenge with song lyrics or a corporate leadership team broadcasting their mission with a marketing jingle, building teams is like composing music.

It’s time to get clear about what is sanctioned in the workplace. Psychology 101 teaches us that dysfunction is considered normal by children until they reach sufficient emotional maturity to realize it’s not. Do you mean all dads don’t abuse moms? No way? I thought treating people like $#!T was the way all families operate. Unless and until you have that epiphany, you are extremely likely to select a workplace culture that perpetuates your own personal pathology. Most workplaces are populated by employees who haven’t figured that out. That’s the prime reason healthy cultures are so rare.

The stereotype of a Tool & Die plant includes underpaid, burned-out workers and undesirable working conditions. Since the pandemic, many businesses in the manufacturing industry have been struggling to find and keep talent. It also doesn’t come as a surprise that supply chain issues and inflated material costs are cutting into operating margins. It’s easy to understand how these factors impact culture, let alone the complex series of interdependent work process that must happen in unison. Consider a typical day in the workplace.

The puppies in the image are playing, not fighting. The stakes are low. No ground rules, just play. If you are going to go toe-to-toe with a peer on an issue where the stakes are high, it’s best to have some rules. In professional settings, conflict management skills are trained and practiced regularly. Often deemed “conflict resolution,” there is an assumption that the outcome will include peaceful understanding and strengthened relationships. Not always. Not everyone fights fair. Here are 10 rules to consider the next time you decide to engage in a fight.

Not everyone is changing jobs during the mass resignation. Many people are simply considering transitions, and still others are using this window in their career trajectory to evaluate fit and direction. The decision is not binary. You don’t have to either stay or leave. You can do both. The freedom to leave equals the freedom to stay.

Everyone carries a burden. We live in a world where showing your pain is a sign of weakness, so most people’s burdens are not visible. Stanford University uses a duck as the metaphor for invisible effortlessness. The objective is to make accomplishment look easy so imagine the water fowl gliding swiftly across the water while his webbed feet are paddling like mad, out of view, to move forward. Most people respond with “fine” when asked how they’re doing. Are they really fine?

Succession planning has taken on new meaning over the past few years. Prior to the pandemic, it was simply the Baby Boom generation handing over leadership reins to the GenXers. The volatility of the COVID era has forced us to view these transitions through a different lens. Since the preciousness of life is now more fragile, succession is more of a gift to future generations.

The most common reason our phone rings is a problem with workplace culture. Every organization wants to have a positive, family-like vibe that attracts the best talent and retains them when the poachers come hunting. No brainer, right? Regardless of industry, the sustained achievement of this ideal is rare. There are so many ways things can go south. Even though there is a recipe, human frailty finds a way to mess with the ingredients. Unfortunately, the deeper the roots of the dysfunction, the deeper the fix.

We have many teachers over the course of a lifespan, both formal and informal. Some become secret role models even as they remain unaware of the impact they’ve had on our personal and professional trajectory. Others are selected and ordained with a formal responsibility to guide insight and discovery. Whatever the reason for the relationship’s formation, the ideal teacher-student relationship has distinct qualities. This connection embodies the smallest, and often most important, team.

The fastest way to eliminate possible explanations is to reach an obvious conclusion. Clinicians in the behavioral health field are taught to stay curious. If a likely cause presents itself, therapists hold it as a diagnostic ‘maybe’ until further evidence either cancels or corroborates the possibility. The urge is to rush to judgement when things don’t make sense. An answer – any answer – closes the uncomfortable gap of not knowing. Wisdom lies in enduring the discomfort and asking the question, “What would need to be true to make this data make sense?” Now let’s apply this to your team.

Leaders are faced with both choices and decisions when building, strengthening, or repairing a workplace culture. Despite their interchangeability in casual conversation, choosing and deciding are not the same. Choice is a selection while deciding is an act of elimination. We choose a culture that embraces certain principles. Deciding, on the other hand, resolves conflict between options. The original Latin word for ‘decide’ is decidere, which means ‘to cut off.’ When we decide, we are slicing off less desirable alternatives. We are establishing a code of conduct by letting employees know what behaviors are not tolerated.

Growing up, most of us are taught how to succeed as individuals. The formula is simple: set goals, take initiative, work hard, and persevere. Succeeding on teams uses different competencies and they don’t always come naturally. The same skill set that gained you acceptance into an elite college probably doesn’t make you the best teammate. Teams are messy and complicated. Conflict is unavoidable and it only takes one disengaged teammate to ruin a culture. So how do we learn the skills and competencies to function in team settings? Clue #1: It’s not by taking personality tests and discovering what makes other people tick.