Most of the choices we exercise throughout the day are inconsequential. Sometimes, there are days or decisions that have the power to pivot lives. Whether to have Wheaties or Cheerios for breakfast doesn’t alter the universe. Voting does.

We now have to challenge the assumption that team culture requires teammates to be in the same space. We have to question whether the Zoom screen barrier prevents true connection. We have to decide whether working from home means we have to wait until ‘things get back to normal’ before, well, things get back to normal. In the classic denial stage of grief, it somehow feels better to believe that conference rooms, auditoriums and shared workspaces will someday fill back up with teammates. When that miracle happens, we can get back to life as we knew it before the loss. Think again.

Teams often evolve like the arc of a crescendo in music. There’s a specific time in the team’s lifespan where the tension is supposed to build and, eventually, give way to resolution. In most songs, it happens near the end. In teams, the buildup is experienced as dissonance. When differences get worked out, it feels like harmony. The tension is the work and the resolution is the play.

When teams struggle, the camera zooms in on the problem and forces an up-close perspective. Like anything you place under a microscope, you sacrifice the big picture in favor of the tiny details. Teams under duress tend to look at the dynamics playing out between teammates, often ignoring the overall wellness of the larger group. We pay attention to the symptoms rather than the causes. Let’s widen the lens.

Adult coping skills are built for crisis management. Some fight, some flee and some freeze. Each instinct has value. The fighters take action, the fleers seek safety and the freezers observe. Action, safety and observation are all important aspects of navigating trouble. In the moment of the challenge, the body ramps up some functions (heart rate, brain speed) and slows down others (immune system, digestion). All of this is designed to make us more focused and efficient under duress. However, this heightened state is unsustainable for long periods. These days, you don’t have to look too far to find a team falling apart under the pressure of prolonged stress.

It takes one “small world” discovery to remind us of the power of connection. Our circles of friends and professional networks overlap in unexpected ways. Relationships established decades ago resurface as new circumstances elevate new partnerships. Perhaps this phenomenon arises out of random chance. Or maybe…

Athletes routinely predict a strong offseason promising to come back in tiptop shape for the next campaign. When preseason training begins, only an elite few have actually put in the work needed to fulfill the prediction. The others scramble to catch up and the team’s overall readiness is impacted by this odd blend of physical and mental preparedness. The team’s success rests on a collection of individual commitments. So, which teammate are you going to be when the whistle blows?

There are big losses and little losses. When your favorite sports team loses a game, the disappointment is commensurate with the level of connection. The life-long fan feels worse than the casual fan. When the family pet dies, the kid who grew up feeling like Fido was a sibling feels worse than stepdad who inherited the dog when he married the kid’s mom. When a business closes due to the economic impact of a pandemic, the ripples spread beyond owners and employees to vendors, customers and communities. In each example, the greater the attachment, the greater the loss.

I spent the summers between college years working on a bridge construction crew. We built spans that connected land over rivers, roads and railroad tracks. We enabled travel between locations previously separated by chasms. Each job was its own engineering masterpiece. The destination was always clear, but the path always required negotiation and dialogue. Many lessons learned in those years have been resurrected in recent months.

It’s hard to break free of your own perspective. Teammates see the same event and experience different interpretations. Each believes his or her view is the truth. Of course, each truth is correct. There are many truths. The challenge is to get behind the eyes of your teammates and understand their truths. Here’s how.

When the societal mindset is shaken by a crisis, everyone is forced to look inside and answer tough questions. Often, we look to others on our teams for guidance and role modeling. Team leaders are watched carefully as their voices and platforms can have greater reach and impact. In the delicate ecosystem of teams, everything we say and do affects everyone in our circle. What is your voice? What is your platform?

What actually constitutes a team? Two or more people working on a common goal? Not if they are working in silos. It’s entirely possible for coworkers to wear the same uniform, share the same space and toil away at the same objective yet still not function as a team. They aren’t a team until their successes and failures are tied together. They have to put their lives in each other’s hands.