Think about the last few social or professional interactions you’ve experienced. Some people fuel you; others drain you. The ‘fuelers’ share energy in a mutual exchange. The ‘drainers’ take more than they give. Their neediness leaves you feeling depleted. It’s as if there’s a hole in their bucket. No matter how much you pour in, it never fills.

Coaches, advisors, and counselors are often tapped when we are out of resources. We seek help in the form of a new perspective, some friendly support, or a solution to a vexing problem. The request is usually reactive, not proactive. What if your helper came alongside of you for the whole journey, not just the end? A partnership like that would be unlikely to run out of energy or ideas because the relationship creates its own fuel.

I might remember the beach walk more vividly than the children holding my hands. They’re more likely to recall having just beaten their grandfather in a shoreline race only moments before – or maybe the stroll through the woods when we collected acorns. We planted those acorns that day, both literally and figuratively. We’ll track the growth of the baby oak trees each year while we make new investments in our evolving relationships. It’s a slow-motion succession plan.

Lowering your heartrate by 7 beats-per-minute on demand is not a parlor trick. It is a coping tool and anyone can do it. Everyone knows that we process information more accurately and make more prudent decisions when not dysregulated. Yet, life’s circumstances regularly cause upset. Getting from anxious or mad to calm and clear is a universal human challenge.

Strategic planning exercises have short shelf lives by design. The overarching goal may stay the same, but the strategies, tactics, and timelines are subject to an ever-evolving environment. Constant reassessment is built into the plan. It might look good on the day it is created, in light of the circumstances of that moment in time. It takes but a few changes in personnel, politics, or priorities to warrant a trip back to the drawing board.

Children like to play the ‘Why?’ game. You know how it goes. In response to the adult’s statement, the kid replies, “Why?” After the grown-up answers the question, the child repeats, “Why?” This exchange goes on forever, or as long as the adult chooses to stay engaged. However long it lasts (the longer, the better), the subject deepens. Layer by layer, explanations require further justifications. Just try to stay factual as the depth of your knowledge gets tested and retested. It’s the ultimate exercise in accountability.

How much of your world breaks when one domain suffers a hit? Granted, the various dimensions of wellness (health, fitness, financial, relationship, career, etc.) are interdependent. A setback in any of them affects the others. For some people, when one falls, they all topple. Then there are those for whom a glitch in one area activates growth in the others. A single weakness signals multiple strengths to step up. This is just one of the reasons why adversity builds capacity.

“Who would think THAT’S okay?” “When did THAT become acceptable?” “How could anyone possibly like THAT?” Technically, these are questions, but in actuality, they are statements. Each question is a judgment that anyone who thinks or acts differently than I do has it all wrong – because everyone is supposed to share the same opinions, like the same music, appreciate the same food, and make the same choices that I would make. Why would they not, after all?

Sometimes the voice in your head is louder than the voice entering your ears. The brain’s input is filtered and categorized so quickly that the chance for an unbiased reaction disappears. Imagine if you could lean in and step back at the same time. You could keep the big picture in focus while zooming in on the detail. The greater the stress of the situation, the harder it is to do both.

Whether the relationship is romantic, social, or professional, some partnerships stand the test of time with an ever-deepening connection. While most friendships level out at a certain depth, best friends share something that feels eternal. Each day and each stage of the alliance’s lifespan is refreshed with every exchange. Sure, there are plateaus – but the long-term trajectory themes upward. Best friends swim side-by-side through both calm and turbulent waters. So, what are the ingredients of this magic?

Helping has a sweet spot. Too little can leave the client with insufficient resources. Too much can risk disabling their agency. You can show me, teach me, or leave me to my own devices to figure things out. A talented coach or counselor senses which path is best for this particular person in this particular moment.

One gust of wind changes the best-laid plans. Some of the seeds you planted didn’t take root. Others grew in places that weren’t defined in the strategy session. Life’s circumstances shift rapidly. Most strategies need revision soon after the tactics and timelines have been assigned. Most plans are obsolete as soon as they’re minted. Every step has a glitch. Every stage is a problem-solving exercise.